I am quite capable... I know I am.
The knowledge often is fleeting, but lately... the past few weeks... it has started to come to my surface. I had a therapy appointment today and she and I spoke as to why that is. The answer may be complicated, but two reasons that come to mind are:
1. I'm much more confident in my skills as a mother this time around. Our daughter is 3 months old and while she has been a bit of a colic-y handful it has been so much smoother. With our son I constantly struggled with "am I doing this right?" and a multitude of other worries... is he eating enough? eating too little? sleeping enough? sleeping too much? Am I a good mother? Does he know he is loved? etc etc etc etc etc It was a seriously difficult transition. Granted this time around I've more experience, but it certainly helps when my frame of mind is so much better.
2. The second and more silly reason is doing some DIY stuff. I've always been creative and crafty, but I've really been embracing that of late and it really does give me a sense of pride in myself. I made about 70+% of the gifts we gave this year at Christmas and knowing that I was giving someone something thoughtful, creative, personal and knowing I saved our family some money was a wonderful feeling.
I want to keep this mo-jo of capability going as it feels so good and I pray it can carry over into other aspects of my life where it is so desparately needed.